10 things to do when your twin flame wants nothing to do with you

Finding your twin flame can be one of the most exhilarating experiences out there.

It’s as if when you’re together, everything else fades away and you feel seen and heard in a way you haven’t been before.

But what happens if it all falls apart and your twin flame wants nothing to do with you?

Here are ten tips that can help you during this difficult time:

1) Give them space

If your twin flame doesn’t want to talk to you, respect their decision and give them space. Yes, this is hard to do especially when you want to keep communication lines open. This is, however, necessary and it can also be good for you.

Use the no-contact period to reflect on your life and give yourself the space to grieve for and heal from what is happening. Taking the time to identify and acknowledge your feelings can help you move forward.

It can also allow you to cool off and learn healthier coping strategies when you’ve had enough distance to look at the issues from a more objective point of view.

2) Go on a social media detox

Since you’re going no-contact, it’s going to be tempting to check their social media to get a sense of how they’re doing. Avoid this. In fact, since you’re in a vulnerable state right now, try to avoid or at the very least limit your social media activity.

Excessive social media use can cause you to compare yourself with how everyone else is doing, which can lead to unhealthy and negative thoughts about yourself.

When you reduce your screen time, you also have more space for real-life moments. Nothing beats in-person interactions with friends and loved ones.

3) Focus on self care

Instead of allocating your time and energy on trying to figure out what your twin flame is doing, how they’re feeling, or how you can make things better for them, focus on taking care of yourself.

There’s a lot of self care activities you can do that can help with your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.

Make sure you get enough shut-eye. Not getting enough sleep can affect brain functions such as decision-making, memory, and reaction-time. It can also affect your mood and how you interact with other people.

Here’s another self-care idea:

Take a walk! If there’s a park nearby, go for a 60-minute walk there. According to a study by the Lise Meitner Group for Environmental Neuroscience at the Max Planck Institute for Human Development, a 60-minute walk in nature actually helps decrease activity in brain regions involved in stress processing.

You can also spend time with your friends and loved ones and enjoy their company. As tempting as it is to spend all your time alone ruminating, remember that there are other people out there who love you and that you don’t have to go through this alone.

4) Grow your world

Don’t see the separation as a burden, see it as an opportunity to explore the world!

You don’t have to travel to the other side of the planet and go all Eat, Pray, Love (though that’s certainly an option if you want to do that!). This can just mean trying new activities or picking up new hobbies.

By doing this, you’re also able to build a better relationship with yourself. Take a cooking class, take guitar lessons, or do yoga.

Is there something you’ve always wanted to try but you’ve never had the chance to? Now’s the time!

5) Meet new people

Being apart from the person you feel connected to is one of the toughest things to live with. It’s like you never realize how much space they’ve occupied in your life until they’re gone and you don’t know how to fill up that space left behind.

By joining different types of communities, you’re not necessarily trying to replace the person who’s gone. You’re just forming different types of connections that can also be nourishing to the soul.

Keep your eyes open for opportunities and join groups you have shared interests with. This can be through mutual friends or you can join sites that connect like-minded people for virtual or in-person meetups.

6) Take the time for self-reflection

Think about your thoughts and behaviors and identify areas for growth. Self-reflection is tough, particularly when you are faced with your own fears, insecurities, and negative traits.

Remember to always treat yourself with kindness as you try and reconcile with the parts of yourself that you’ve tried to avoid over the years.

Twin flames are meant to be a catalyst for self growth. While the chemistry is off the charts and it can feel like the stuff of movies, it’s also meant to teach you tough life lessons because your insecurities and fears will be uncovered in the process.

7) Know your worth

Facing rejection by someone who means a lot to you can make you question yourself. You may feel tempted to try and escape that feeling by seeking validation through unhealthy means.

If you’re going through a separation with a twin flame you were in a romantic relationship with, avoid looking for rebound entanglements and bring the focus back to your own healing.

The validation that you need ultimately will come from you when you understand and believe that you are worthy enough to be seen and accepted.

8) Practice gratitude 

The twin flame separation will have you going through pretty dark and lonely moments.

When this happens, take a step back and think about all the good things you have. These may be things you’ve gotten so used to that you don’t even realize are things that other people wish for.

According to Robert Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis, and the founding editor-in-chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology, gratitude has two parts:

• Affirmation of goodness – Learning to notice good things around you and the blessings you already have.
• Acknowledging that the source of goodness is outside of ourselves – Understanding that the gifts we have are received from other people, fate, a higher power, or the natural world.

In essence, identifying things you’re grateful for can help you realize that you wouldn’t be where you are if you hadn’t been helped by other people. This can help you understand that even though it feels like it sometimes, you aren’t alone after all.

Kick this practice off by starting a gratitude journal. Try to start your day by writing down at least five things you are grateful for.

9) Be mindful

Mindfulness is a practice that can help you keep your attention anchored so you can be in the present moment and accept the situation as it is, without trying to control anything.

It can help reduce stress and anxiety and keep you from dwelling on the negative feelings brought about by twin flame separation.

Try the following mindfulness practices:

• Mindful breathing – This practice involves focusing your attention on your breathing. In a quiet and comfortable place, sit or lie down. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

As you begin to relax, focus your attention on your breath. Feel the sensation of the air coming in and out of your nostrils and pay attention to how the air fills and exits your lungs.

• Guided meditation –  This is a meditation type where you follow a teacher in an in-person session or through audio recordings as they guide you through different visualizations. Here are a few meditation podcasts to get you started.
• Loving-kindness meditation – This kind of meditation is all about cultivating feelings of compassion, kindness, and love towards the self, others, and the world. Here’s a guide on how to do it.

10) Set boundaries

After you’ve had enough time for self reflection and you’ve built a better relationship with yourself during this painful time, you will be better able to identify behaviors and situations that are unhealthy for you.

Set boundaries to mentally and emotionally protect yourself by leaving situations that negatively impact your well-being.

This can include limiting or avoiding contact with certain people you don’t get along with, or in the event that you feel like you are being treated poorly, you can also speak up and refuse to tolerate the behavior.

Something to remember before you go

Whatever the nature of the relationship you have with your twin flame, going through a separation phase is a challenging but ultimately rewarding ordeal as long as you do the inner work.

While some believe that twin flames are destined to stay together, there are others who think that the purpose of a twin flame is to bring about self-love and growth and that it may not necessarily mean you’re meant to be together for the rest of your lives.

Your twin flame is meant to motivate you to do the work to be the best version of yourself.

Just trust and have faith that whatever the outcome of this will be, it is all part of your journey and you will come out stronger for it.

You’ll be okay. Good luck!